how can u be prego again
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
