He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
