pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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