i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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