There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
