sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
