we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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