dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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