We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
