Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
