this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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