Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
