ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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