i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
