Welp...herpes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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