I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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