beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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