So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
