Do you still have your period?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
