...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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