Whoa Z and x make the same sound
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
