How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize