Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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