i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
