I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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