There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
