And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
