Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
