I am in a vortex of obligation.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
