I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Randomize
