I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's blow job season.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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