Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
