Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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