covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
