I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
