fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
