I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.