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• (925): View more from California

  So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.

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• (925): View more from California

  You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there

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• (619): View more from California

  Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Eat your greens and take your tequila shots

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals

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