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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Did it?

  (806): View more from Texas

  Not as such, no.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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• (415): View more from California

  Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.

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• (818): View more from California

  we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  If tits could talk, mine would be bragging

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• (707): View more from California

  I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.

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