so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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