Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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