you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
