You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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