i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
