I'm so fucking centered right now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why can't burritos get me drunk
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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