Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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