A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize