at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
