we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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