One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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