i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
