I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
