Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
