Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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