I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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