My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
