You can't special order awesome
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
