i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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