did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
