lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
