i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
