just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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