Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
