the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
