is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Randomize
